Girlfriend
by Veep
Summary: Jack hears a couple of odd songs played on the jukebox which leads to interesting conversation topics.  Inspired by Nibikko's SJ humor vid: Girlfriend and a friend from GateWorld.


Girlfriend

_This story was inspired by Nibikko's girlfriend vid and a suggestion from a Gateworld Forum friend. Please check out the vid at _

Daniel stood slightly and waved. "Jack, over here."

Jack, who was glad to be back in Colorado for a few days without any imminent devastating Earth ending catastrophes on the horizon, headed towards the table where Daniel, Vala, and Teal'c were seated.

Teal'c stood as Jack approached. "It is good to see you again, O'Neill." Teal'c clasped Jack's shoulder and Jack responded with the same sign of respect and brotherhood.

Jack smiled. "Same to you, Teal'c. I've missed you guys in stuffy old Washington." Jack took a seat between Daniel and Teal'c.

"Based on how much they talk about you and the good old days, I'd say they miss you also." Vala rolled her eyes as she spoke. Daniel shot Vala a 'please don't speak' look before focusing back on his best friend who'd been absent for far too long.

Jack quickly glanced around the bar. "I thought Sam and Mitchell were coming with you."

Daniel grimaced slightly. "Sam's tied up but she said she'd be along as soon as possible. Cam probably won't be too far behind."

Jack nodded. "I hope you mean tied up as in busy with some techie problem not literally tied up like some kind of evil invading aliens type thing."

Daniel grinned slightly. "It was definitely the former. Something about a gaseous emission from the…"

Jack held up his right hand and leaned back in his chair. "Whoa there buddy. I already know enough about gaseous emissions. I like them as much as the next guy but this doesn't seem like the place or time to talk about it."

Four giggling college girls walked past the table towards the juke box. The boldest girl, a short blond with a tiny waist and a large bosom, looked Daniel up one side and down the other. Vala sat up straight in her chair. She put her hand on Daniel's thigh, which result in a small jerk from the startled archeologist.

"Vala?"

The bold college girl made eye contract with Vala. Vala's message was both sent and received in a heartbeat. The blond turned back towards the jukebox with her friends. "Everything's fine, Daniel."

Daniel nodded, still not aware of the nonverbal conversation about him that had just taken place. "So Jack, Sam said you were in town for personal reasons. What's up?"

The right corner of Jack's mouth slid up in a half smile. "You'll have to wait until the gang's all here."

Just as Jack was about to speak again, a fast-paced song began to blast from the jukebox. The college girls across the room broke out into hysterical laughter. Jack's eye brows moved together and the wrinkle in his brow deepened. "_What_ is that?"

Teal'c tilted his head slightly as he said, "It is a song called Girlfriend sung by Avril Lavigne. It is currently very popular, especially with young females. It has been successful on the charts for many weeks."

Daniel laughed, "I didn't know you kept up with the Billboard charts."

Jack said, "Didn't you once tell me to never underestimate Teal'c's complexity?"

"Indeed he did." Teal'c gave a slight grin.

Jack glanced at the jukebox before saying, "This song however isn't exactly complex. 'I don't like your girlfriend' certainly isn't beating around the bush."

Daniel agreed, "It gets to the point though. I can't believe some of the women my friends dated in college. I couldn't understand what they were thinking."

Jack shook his head. "I have exceptionally wonderful taste in women."

Daniel snickered. "Remember Kynthia?"

Jack scowled, "You don't want to go down that road with me, Daniel. Does Hathor ring a bell?"

Daniel shrugged. "I was drugged."

"So was I."

"Yeah, but you ate the cake voluntarily. Hathor used her secret pheromone hypnotizing scent without my consent. Besides, you fell for her too."

Jack crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I really don't like where this conversation is going."

"Oh, I don't know. I'm finding it amusing." Sam pulled out a chair and sat beside Jack. She was sporting quite an evil grin.

"Of course you like seeing Daniel pick on me." Jack placed his arm around the back of her chair and rested his left hand lightly on her left shoulder.

Daniel smiled. "But you make it so easy, Jack. Hey, I like that line. 'I'll have you wrapped around my finger.' Laira, perhaps?"

Sam's face tightened slightly when Laira's name was spoken, but she immediately forced herself to relax. No matter what Sam's fears had been back then, Jack was sitting beside her now. She felt him give her shoulder a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

"Low blow, Daniel. Need I remind you of Linea? How many men can say they were wooed by the Destroyer of Worlds?"

"It was Ke'ra, not Linea, and it's not like I knew who she really was in the beginning. You should be able to understand that concept since you unknowingly risked your life to save Shayla."

Jack's eyes narrowed at the flash of memories associated with his time in Ba'al's prison.

"It speaks well of O'Neill that he returned for Shayla even though she was the love of the coward Kanan and not his own." The high praise from Teal'c brought his memory-tortured mind back to the here and now.

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Teal'c." Sam smiled at Jack and placed her right hand on his knee. Jack visibly relaxed as Sam gently caressed his knee.

Jack was glad when the song ended. He hoped the next song would bring up a new topic for conversation. He hadn't counted on the next song opening even more fertile discussion topics.

"Ahhh…you'll like this song also Jack." Daniel grinned an evil maniacal grin that put Jack slightly on edge. Sam giggled.

"Did that song just say something about showing a bleach blond bimbo? She should go to jail for causing that much damage to his truck! What has the music industry come to these days?" Jack looked over his shoulder towards the jukebox that was playing the odd song as if he could make it stop with just a glare.

"I believe this song has gained popularity because females relate well to the anger expressed by this singer. Betrayal is met with fierce opposition, especially by females. One of the first lessons Jaffa boys are taught is to recognize the strength of women, especially passionate and angry women."

Sam took a sip of her drink and nodded. "Good advice for any man, Teal'c."

"You're damn right about that, Teal'c. I'd rather face a super soldier than a pissed off woman." Teal'c nodded his agreement with Jack and Daniel laughed.

Vala laughed and said, "It sounds like based on the women you two get involved with, simple vehicular damage would have be the least of your worries."

Sam nodded and looked at Jack as she said, "Your current girlfriend happens to be well versed in the use of a P-90, so I highly recommend you stay on her good side."

As the song yet again repeated the list of damages inflicted on the innocent truck, Jack smiled and said, "No need to worry. I really like being on her good side. Her good side is soft, warm, and smells delicious."

Daniel laughed and said, "Smells delicious? Do you really think that's going to win you points?"

Sam gazed at Jack and grinned. "He did just fine." She turned back towards her friends at the table. "I think we should go ahead and order. Mitchell could be a while. He was helping General Landry negotiate a land issue between two female Jaffa warriors from 387.

"In that case I do not foresee Colonel Mitchell joining us in the immediate future. The two females in question are using the land as a point of debate but in reality they are both seeking the same male as a partner. I hope General Landry and Cameron Mitchell are prepared for the battle that is sure to ensue. Human female retribution tactics appear colorless when compared to Jaffa women." Vala giggled first. Daniel, Sam and Jack quickly joined in.

Sam gasped for breath as tears streamed down her face. "You mean human female revenge pales in comparison to Jaffa tactics."

"Indeed."


End file.
